How to Be Nice When You Don't Feel Like It - Kindness Despite Mood

There are times when we know we need to be nice but it seems like the most difficult task because we're in a mood or we're enduring negative word vomit. Here are 5 tips on how to be nice when you really don't want to but know you need to.

Show  Notes:
I know I’m not alone in having to force myself to be nice when I am not in the mood to do so. Whether it’s because the other person triggered some intense feelings me or they were rude or disrespectful or I’m just having a hard day & having trouble even showing myself kindness. I know it can be tough to muster up the niceness when you just really aren’t feeling it.

But it’s important we know how to do so. Especially if we are needing to be the bigger person or diffuse a situation. Even more important, we need to be nice to others when we are in a bad mood because other people don’t deserve the backlash of us having a bad day & taking it out on them. It’s just not fair. And I know some people might think it doesn’t matter because if you’re rude to a stranger you’ll never see them again, but that shouldn’t be your excuse to be unkind.

It can be so easy to project your emotions onto someone else because it’s much easier to do that than to take the time to tap into that self-awareness & ask yourself, “What’s going on here? Why am I so charged up right now?” And this is also a reminder that emotions aren’t bad. Some people might say that THIS is the reason they don’t want to feel their emotions because it causes them to react more & get all caught-up & turned around in trying to understand themselves. But the more time you spend breaking down your emotions, responses & reactions, the easier it becomes over time. It’s just a skill that can be learned.

When it comes to being the bigger person, being kind is key. I also believe it’s more difficult to be kind when someone is doing the opposite to us. It feels very much ‘eye for an eye’ situation, but it’s not the right move. We’ve all heard it before: Rise Above It, Be the Bigger Person, Show Them Who’s Better. And if those phrases connect with you, then great. But I’d also ask you to consider being nice to those that are mean to you because they clearly need it. They decided to spew negativity your way, on purpose, so they must be going through something, struggling in their own emotional journey or unsure of the most appropriate way handle conflict & unpleasant situations. Either way, let’s get in the practice of giving people grace & allowing them to either realize their reaction wasn’t warranted because you didn’t respond similarly, or to just experience kindness that might help them reflect later. We never know how we impact people after the fact. Even a smile can be life-changing for someone.

So, let’s jump into the tips I have for you on how to be nice to others when you really don’t want to:

1. Smile & Stick with Short Responses. 
2. Ask yourself how you can be your best self for this amount of time & do it.
3. Be honest with how you’re feeling.
4. Remember you’re the only one in charge of your emotions. 
5. Ask yourself, “What’s the cost of being nice right now?” 

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