084: Dealing with Negativity

How do you deal with negativity directed towards you?  Especially when it is coming from family and friends?  or even random people on the internet?  

Change is hard.  We have to find the motivation and drive to change our mindset to change our actions.  There is usually a good deal of negative voices coming from within that we need to overcome.  Sometimes those voices are external. Friends, family, and complete strangers will also comment on our journey, and not always in the nicest manner.

On today’s episode we talk about the negative voices coming from outside, also known as the haters.  We cover a lot of points, but the biggest takeaway is that perspective is extremely important.

First, whatever message you are sending out into the world is not going to be received the same by every person.  They have their own opinions and values, and frankly even their current mood may affect how well they interpret your message.  Some people may try to hold you back for your own safety, some out of fear of losing you, some out of jealousy that you are accomplishing things they want to accomplish.  Your message needs to show your values, and let other people interpret them how they see fit.

Second, you are in charge of your emotions.  Set your emotions to happy and spread the joy around.  When someone try to rain on your parade, don’t let it derail your happiness.  

Third, realize how important your time is.  If you are wasting time thinking or responding or stewing about on some negative comment that someone made, you are wasting valuable time you could be using to do something much more mentally and physically satisfying.  Don’t let the haters steal your day away.

Next, stop judging other people.  If you are constantly passing judgement onto others, then you will interpret any comments toward you as a judgement.  When you are surrounded by a strong group of people trying to lift each other up and support each other, then judgements disappear and are replaced with simple observations.

Once the negative judgements are seen as objective observations, you can look at them without your own emotions.  You can decide that you initially felt offended because the comment was on one of your insecurities. You can decide that the comment was true, but it was on an area of low priority for you, so you do not have the time to worry about it.  The

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