Why You Really Don't Want #RelationshipGoals

Relationship Goals are based on comparison. 

• You will never find happiness trying to imitate someone else’s dynamic. It’s like trying to wear an outfit in your friend’s size. It may fit her, but it will look strange on you.
• What works for another couple may not work for you. Or, it works okay for you, but something else could work better.

Relationship Goals are based on illusions rather than reality. 

• You never know what’s really going on with your favorite couple behind closed doors.
• Most families have dark secrets behind a happy facade (ex. Abusive husbands, fathers with secret families, etc.)

Relationship Goals are based on superficial traits, and rarely the traits that matter most.

You’re not in the right mental or emotional place to have relationship goals. 

• If you’re not in a good place mentally, you are much more likely to mistake toxic relationships for healthy ones.

Relationship Goals can (and should) change over time. What works in one season doesn’t work in another. This is why many marriages end after the children leave home.

What to do instead of pursuing #RelationshipGoals:

• Listen to advice from people who have healthy, lasting relationships and have a dynamic similar to yours.
• Study relationship advice from educated, professional experts (Ex. The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman).
• Seek professional counseling to help you get to the root of any problems you have, so you can improve.
• Practice trial and error. Sometimes you won’t know if a certain strategy works unless you try it.

At the end of the day, you need to create your own relationship goals. Figure out what works best for you and stick to that. 

Action Steps: 

1. If you’re in a relationship (dating or married), set aside time with your significant other to discuss what a strong relationship looks like for you. Make a plan to improve in areas where you may be struggling.
2. If you’re single, take time to really consider what a healthy relationship looks like to you. Be clear about your non-negotiables and areas where you can be flexible.