The Strength of Structure: Why Limits Matter in Parenting
- Author
- Dr. Deanna Marie Mason PhD
- Published
- Fri 18 Sep 2020
- Episode Link
- None
This episode is focused the important parenting topic of limits and discipline. While there are many different opinions and perspectives about the application of limits and discipline, the research and science support the use of limits and discipline throughout childhood and adolescence to teach our children values.
Limits and discipline communicate what is important to our family. When we structure our limits and discipline in a way that reflect our values, we are simply teaching our children about those values and how we use them as a family. With this in mind, limits and discipline do not change over the course of our children's lives but, instead, expand as they grow and mature.
Examples of limits and discipline, from a values perspective, are given for each age and stage. Additionally, five principles are presented to help parents get started:
1. Set limits and stick to them
2. Limits are not negociable with our children
3. Teach about rights and responsibilities
4. Keep discipline as discipline
5. Follow discipline with discussion
In addition, three types of discipline that should be avoided are reviewed:
1. Physical discipline (e.g. hitting, slapping, spanking)
2. Shaming (i.e. focusing on the child rather than the child's behaviour)
3. Hyper-discipline (e.g. helicopter or snowplow parenting)
This episode is meant to refocus limits and discipline as a form of communication that teaches our children about what is important to our family and support them in internalising that information so they become a self-confident, independent, and prepared adult at the end of their childhood journey.
Just to let you know, for the duration of the Proactive Parenting podcast launch, I will be releasing two episodes a week instead of my normal weekly release schedule. I hope you enjoy the extra episodes.
Proactive Parenting is based on validated theories and scientific research to provide the information you need to care for your modern family. Not everyone grew up in a completely healthy family of origin and consequently may be unsure of how to be a parent when they start a family. Proactive Parenting was created for parents who need a solid foundation to start raising their children, and for parents who want to do better. It is a way to move past old behaviours, break unhealthy habits, and replace them with parenting actions that will lead to a healthy family life for both children and parents.
If you want to learn more about Proactive Parenting, please visit my webpage and social media sites:
Website: www.proactiveparenting.com
