#56 THE GREAT EMU WAR

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Cyclops Tears, Bear Pants, and the Great Emu War – Absolute Nonsense Incoming 🦸‍♂️🦆🍻

Buckle up, degenerates—this episode goes from pop culture madness to historical stupidity in record time. First up, we celebrate the birthday of Tiger King himself (because nothing screams America like a mullet and exotic animals). Then, we get deep into the real questions:

🐻 How would a bear wear pants? (Legit debate. It got heated.)
👶 Why do babies and old people act the same? (And at what point does the switch flip?)
🔫 The Great Emu War—when Australia went to war with birds… and lost.

From there, we talk Keanu Reeves, and how he was almost the quarterback for the Baltimore Ravens (because John Wick is undefeated, and if Trent Dilfer can do it, well, we probably can), tackle Chris’s venture into an early spring cleaning, and unload some fire Harry Potter jokes—because nothing’s off-limits.

More highlights from this fever dream of an episode:
⚾ Are we past time to play America’s pastime, or could a couple dudes pushing 40 still knock one out of the park?
🐟 "Teach a man to fish"—but what if that man sucks at fishing?
🚢 Titanic lobsters—how lucky were they?
👨‍⚕️ Guess what these doctors actually doctor. (Spoiler: We’re way off.)
🦍 Why the hell didn’t Tarzan have a beard? (Seriously, wtf, Disney?)

Then, because we have zero chill, we discuss:

• The most useless waste of money in human history.
• What if God was actually pronounced ‘Jod’? (Yep, it’s one of those discussions.)
• A hometown plane crash story that somehow turns into comedy.

And of course, this week’s Pour Choices, because bad beer choices are kinda our thing. 🍻

This episode is a full-on mess in the best way possible. Grab a drink, embrace the chaos, and let’s get weird. 🍺

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

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Chapters

00:00 – INTRO
3:28 – OPENING QUESTIONS
8:01 – CYCLOPS TEARS
11:09 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIGER KING!
14:25 – HOW WOULD A BEAR WEAR PANTS?
16:51 – BABIES & OLD PEOPLE
18:02 – THE GREAT EMU WAR|
25:58 – KEANU REEVES DRAFTED 1ST OVERALL
26:40 – SPRING CLEANING
30:50 – HARRY POTTER JOKES
37:17 – AMERICA’S PASTIME
46:13 – PICK 3 NUMBERS
52:15 – TITANIC LOBSTERS
54:04 – TEACH A MAN TO FISH
55:36 – GUESS WHAT THESE DOCTOR’S DOCTOR
1:01:39 – WHY DIDN’T TARZAN HAVE A BEARD?
1:02:08 – PLANE CRASHES
1:04:41 – HONEYMOONIVERSARY
1:08:49 – TWO HALVES OF LIFE
1:11:29 – THIS WEEKS POUR CHOICES
1:15:43 – HOMETOWN PLANE CRASH
1:16:52 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT IF GOD WAS PRONOUNCED JOD?
1:19:11 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT WAS THE BIGGEST WASTE OF MONEY IN HUMAN HISTORY?
1:25:27 – OUTRO

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