Episode 68: Self Awareness – The Journey to Truth

Kick It with Donna episode – 68

Ever wonder why you do things that make sense at the time and in hindsight make no sense at all? I’m sharing an experience today that helped me learn that I am not always right.

Show Notes: Through the process of healing myself from the inside out, I am discovering parts of me that are not so pretty. It isn’t easy to look at myself and find truth in the ugly. However, I’m finding that it gets easier with more practice. How do I learn and grow unless I do the dirty work first?

Three years ago, I took my son and his girlfriend to New York City for a week. We stayed in a boutique hotel not far from Times Square. Seeing the 9/11 Memorial Museum was very sobering. Most of the time we took Uber, but we did get a Metrocard to take the subway. How do you visit NYC and not get on the subway? I bought show tickets for Humans. My son was late (he’s always late) which made us all late to the show by 5 minutes. They would not let us in. This ruined the night. I came home from this trip annoyed and frustrated and shared that frustration with my daughter via text. I planned on talking to my son about it in my own time when the spirit moved me.

After we returned, I took my son to Mattress Firm to buy him a new mattress. My daughter texted me and asked what I was doing. I told her. She couldn’t understand why I would buy my son something when I was pissed off at him. This made me angry because I felt it was none of her business. Truth be told, she called me out on my own shit and I was angry at her for it.

This is what happens when I respond out of anger. Instead of looking inward, I lashed out at her. Why? I wasn’t willing or able to come down on my son for his shit. This is a long story for a podcast on another day.

This anger at my daughter lasted for quite a while. It was a few months ago that I apologized to her for taking out my inability to deal with my son on her. She was very forgiving and appreciated that I came clean on this.

I hope my honesty and forthcoming resonates with you in some way. We all have our shit that we throw on others because we don’t want to dig deep into ourselves and address a problem, The truth hurts. The only one who can fix you is YOU.