576 | Are You Increasing Or Closing The Gap? [Available on Patreon]

In this episode, I am sharing a thought on how we shame and criticize ourselves for not being where we think we should be and how we are actually increasing the gap or the length of time it takes to create what we desire. I am also referencing the book The Gap and The Gain by Dan Sullivan and Benjamin Hardy . 

In today’s episode we discuss:

1) Every time we shame, judge or criticize ourselves for not being where we think we should be, for not being enough, for buying into the limiting beliefs, we are actually keeping ourselves stuck in the space we say we don’t want to be in.  Our subconscious mind doesn’t understand negatives, it only wants to keep us safe, it’s uncomfortable with growth outside of the comfort zone, and it needs massive repetition to create change, until a habit is installed. 2) When these feelings arise, thoughts that are a confirmation of that then arise. Your subconscious mind wants to show you that you are correct. Instead, in the moment, don’t reframe it in a fluffy, fake/toxic positive statement.  Reframe it in a compassionate statement, honouring the gain of how far you’ve come in life, how differently you are handling different scenarios now compared to the past, and focus on how far you’ve come.  3) On the one side of a piece of paper, write down those top 1-3 limiting beliefs that are on repeat, the same statements that you know are not supporting you, and then on the other side of the dividing line, write the reframe that stirs up emotions and is full of so much love and compassion for yourself. As soon as you do this, you change the shame story, you create safety within yourself, you recognize that your feelings are normal and valid.  This is how you build more self-trust within yourself because you are actively creating and engaged in finding a solution and creating change within your body.  This is flipping the script, speak to yourself as you would a friend, a child, and you will shorten that gap faster than you realize. 

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Marsha Vanwynsberghe — NLP Storytelling Trainer, Author, Speaker, and Podcaster

Marsha is the 6-time Bestselling Author of “When She Stopped Asking Why”.  She shares her lessons as a parent who dealt with teen substance abuse that tore her family unit apart. Marsha has been published 7xs, most recently with her co-platform, Every Body Holds A Story, and she is on a mission to continue to help women and men to speak, share and publish their stories. 

Through her tools, OUTSPOKEN NLP certification, programs, coaching, and podcast, Marsha teaches the power of Radical Responsibility and Owning Your Choices in your own life.  She empowers people how to heal and own their stories, be conscious leaders and build platform businesses that create massive impact.