Don't Open the Letter: A Millennial's Guide to Avoiding War.

This week on Our Shit Podcast, we've solved World War 3! You're welcome, humanity.

We discussed what we'd do if WW3 kicked off and somehow convinced ourselves we'd be essential military assets. Spoiler alert: we absolutely would not be. We debated our ideal draft roles, from fighting alongside Beyoncé on the front line to Lady M's uncanny resemblance to Jack Reacher making her perfect for covert ops.

Key tactical discussions: looking fabulous in camo, the optimal battle playlist (Call Me Maybe vs It's Britney Bitch), and our revolutionary conflict resolution methods. Why bother with actual warfare when you could settle disputes through Uno, Twister, chess, naked MMA battles or just have world leaders whip out rulers for a good old-fashioned dick measuring contest?

Our masterstroke? Achieving world peace through honey-drenched bear wrestling matches. It's foolproof, don't question it. Plus, we cracked the ultimate millennial draft-dodging technique: simply don't open the letter.

Warning: Contains zero actual military expertise, questionable conflict resolution strategies, and enough delusion to power a small country. The Ministry of Defence is probably crying.