Which emotions do I allow myself to feel? | Expanding the box of what’s “acceptable”

We are all born with the full spectrum of emotions — but most of us quickly learn that only some are “allowed.” Happiness is always safe. Men are often permitted anger. Women are allowed sadness. But confusion, fear, disappointment, or rage? Those are pushed aside, minimized, or punished.

In this week’s episode of One Question, I explore how families, culture, and systems like patriarchy and capitalism narrow the range of emotions we feel safe expressing. I share my own story of growing up as the youngest of five — where crying, fear, and hopefulness were labeled as crybaby, scaredy-cat, or Pollyanna — and how that shaped the way I learned to flatten my emotions.

Together, we’ll reflect on why emotions are not weaknesses but signals, how suppression only makes them stronger, and why finding safe people — whether loved ones, coaches, or therapists — is essential.

This week’s question is simple, but it may open a door: Which emotions do you allow yourself to feel?