Self-Care Isn't Selfishness

Thanks to the patriarchy, folx of all genders have been indoctrinated into the belief that women were put on this planet to nurture others. Moreover, when women choose to care for themselves, they're seen as selfish. Is it any wonder we're just a teensy bit resentful about being assigned that role?!

In this episode, Jessica breaks it all down and shares her willingness to put her self-care above everyone else's, even the peeps she loves the most. Because caring for others is how she makes a living, but caring for herself (and her dogs) is how she makes a life.  She offers a couple of powerful quotes on resentment, both suggesting that resentment is akin to eating poison and hoping the other person dies.

Nope. Doesn't work that way. You're the one who's gonna take it in the shorts, sis.

Newsflash: Those in your world will take whatever you give them. And yes, the world needs help, but if you're going to make the work sustainable for you, you must fill your cup first. The paradox is this. You can't truly offer yourself to others from a cup that is empty. The fuller your vessel, the more you have to give.  (You also can't keep giving folx a straw while you're trying to fill your cup.)

If you want to be able to give joyfully and without resentment, you must have a self-care plan in place, and be able to engage in it unapologetically.  Jessica offers tips on how to do this and shares some very personal limitations she's liberated herself from feeling bad about.

P.S. If you're a bit squeamish about puke, hearses, or the gubernatorial recall in California, maybe don't listen while you're lunching.

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The One Day You Finally Knew: For Women Breaking Away podcast is produced and edited by Jessica Chasnoff, a recovering perfectionist who is always on a learning curve. While she is a psychologist, this podcast is not a substitute for mental health services. If you're struggling with mental health concerns, please reach out to a professional near you.

Connect with Jessica:


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