OPC 038: The Secondary Benefits of Holding on to Negativity

If you’ve suffered from addiction, trauma, or have been hurt and betrayed, an automatic and natural response to feel bitter, distrust, anger, or resentment. However, when we hold onto the negativity, hurts and fail to heal, they can manifest in other areas of our life, keeping us stuck and providing secondary gains to benefit us or protect us in some way.

In this week’s Omar Pinto Coaching Podcast, the group helped Kris. With 13 days sober, Kris is resentful and bitter towards her husband, and believes they have grown apart. With trust issues from childhood trauma, the group helps Kris discover that these thoughts and feelings of anger have helped protect her and kept her isolated for years, providing secondary gains to self-sabotage, hold onto her addiction, and create a cycle of distrust with everyone that surrounds her.

In this week’s Omar Pinto Coaching Podcast, here's what you'll discover:

• [0:28] Kris shares her predicaments with her husband and how it’s contributing to her drinking.
• [8:46] She opens up about her childhood traumas and experience with dissociative amnesia.
• [16:00] Her lack of trust and obsession with perfectionism and other mental issues.
• [19:33] The negative emotions that she’s holding onto and how she’s using them to protect herself.
• [39:17] The importance of giving yourself permission to question what you don’t know.
• [42:01] The steps she needs to take to go over 42 days of soberness and healing.
• [54:59] How striving for perfection is about hiding the ugly happenings of your life.
• [57:00] Kris receives support from others for her courage to open up.

For the show notes and links for this episode go to omarpinto.com/038.

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