From Self-Awareness to Influence: Building Leaders Who Last

0:02:00 – Personal Stories & The Power of Influence

Ray shares his background, referencing his new book The Boy in the Yellow House, which details his upbringing in a challenging environment.

Theme: The power of personal influence and how various people (coaches, neighbors, mentors) shaped his life.

Discussion on how everyone is a coach or leader in some capacity.

0:08:00 – Coaching, Mentorship, and Leadership

Ray discusses the difference between coaching and mentorship, sharing stories of influential mentors.

Key lessons from his mentor Michael Cat: reading the Bible, prayer, sharing faith, serving others, and living in community (James 5:16).

Theme: The importance of honest, open, and transparent (HOT) relationships for personal growth and healing.

0:15:00 – Circles of Influence & Community

Matt introduces a free resource on evaluating circles of influence.

Discussion on the importance of community, trust, and vulnerability in leadership and personal life.

Theme: The dangers of isolation, idleness, and "adultery" (substituting real connection with unhealthy substitutes).

0:22:00 – Boundaries, Transparency, and Healthy Relationships

Conversation about setting boundaries versus building walls in relationships.

The importance of having a few trustworthy people for genuine transparency.

Theme: Good fences make for great neighbors; healthy boundaries foster strong relationships.

0:28:00 – Coaching Distinctions & Life Experience

Ray distinguishes his coaching from others: focus on real-life experience, not just certifications.

Shares lessons learned from various roles (corporate, agriculture, family).

Theme: The value of practical wisdom and tools developed from personal and professional experience.

0:34:00 – The Role of Spouses as Coaches

Discussion on how Ray’s wife, Stephanie, has coached him in kindness, patience, and managing anger.

Theme: Spouses as complementary partners who help each other grow.

0:40:00 – Boundaries, Delegation, and Leadership Tools

Matt and Ray discuss the importance of boundaries and delegation for leaders.

Introduction of the "Do, Dump, Delegate, Delay" tool for prioritizing tasks.

Theme: Leaders must focus on the highest and best use of their time to avoid burnout and scale effectively.

0:46:00 – The True Role of a Leader: Duplication

Ray challenges common notions of leadership (vision, leading, serving) and asserts the primary role is to duplicate oneself (make disciples).

Theme: Are you a leader worth duplicating? The importance of modeling and multiplying positive influence.

0:52:00 – Self-Awareness as the Biggest Hurdle

Discussion on self-awareness as the key personal hurdle for leaders.

The importance of understanding how one is perceived and the impact of nature, nurture, and choice.

Theme: Growth begins with self-awareness and the willingness to change.

0:58:00 – Emotional Intelligence, Empathy, and Personal Growth

Book recommendations: Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and Crucial Conversations.

Ray shares a personal story about learning empathy from his wife and the difference between sympathy and empathy.

Theme: Dealing with personal pain to develop empathy and the capacity to understand others.

1:05:00 – Steps for Personal Change & Coaching Moments

Matt summarizes the process of personal change: assuming the best about others, recognizing personal growth areas, being receptive, and taking action.

Theme: Growth requires vulnerability, receptivity, and willingness to step into discomfort.

1:10:00 – Encouragement & The Greatest Commandment

Final reflections on the importance of encouragement in coaching.

Reference to Jesus’ teaching: love God, love others, and the importance of self-love and compassion.

Key Themes Covered:

• The power of personal influence and coaching in everyday life.
• The importance of community, vulnerability, and trust.
• Setting healthy boundaries and the difference between boundaries and walls.
• The role of self-awareness and emotional intelligence in leadership.
• The value of practical experience and learning from mistakes.
• The process of personal change and growth.
• The true role of a leader: to duplicate positive influence in others.
• Empathy, compassion, and the impact of personal pain on relationships.

Thank you for listening! If you want to find out more about Matt and how you can get coached toward your better self, visit www.matthewwireman.com and check out his LinkedIn and Instagram accounts @matt.wireman.