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Nope! We're Not Monogamous - Podcast

Nope! We're Not Monogamous

Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (Enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, tantra and life in general. Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box. 

Education Sexuality Society & Culture Love Marriage Self-Improvement Relationships Health & Fitness
Update frequency
every 11 days
Average duration
46 minutes
Episodes
127
Years Active
2021 - 2025
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Midlife, Menopause & Non-Monogamy: Reclaiming Pleasure, Power & Desire with Carla Wainwright  EP. 126

Midlife, Menopause & Non-Monogamy: Reclaiming Pleasure, Power & Desire with Carla Wainwright EP. 126

What if midlife wasn’t the decline everyone warns you about, but a second spring?

In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I sit down with Carla Wainwright, Holistic Wellness Coach, Sexual Awake…

00:36:42  |   Thu 04 Sep 2025
The Brutal Truth About Open Relationships, Ep. 125

The Brutal Truth About Open Relationships, Ep. 125

Curious about open relationships but tired of the Instagram highlight reel version?

This episode gets real about what it actually takes to make non-monogamy work — the messy feelings, the constant neg…

00:32:42  |   Thu 28 Aug 2025
Patriarchy and Polyamory — Unpacking Power, Gender, and ENM with Cass Banker, Ep. 124

Patriarchy and Polyamory — Unpacking Power, Gender, and ENM with Cass Banker, Ep. 124

What happens when you leave monogamy… but bring patriarchy with you?

In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I sit down with Cass Banker (they/them) — a polyamorous, eXvangelical, non-binary hu…

00:57:11  |   Thu 21 Aug 2025
The Cost of Shrinking: When Monogamy Doesn’t Fit, Ep. 123

The Cost of Shrinking: When Monogamy Doesn’t Fit, Ep. 123

“What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just be happy with what I have? Why do I keep wanting more when I already have a ‘good’ relationship?” 

If that question has been looping in your head, this episode …

00:19:57  |   Thu 14 Aug 2025
Leaving Purity Culture, Finding Non-Monogamy: Healing, Desire & Autonomy with Leah Carey, Ep. 122

Leaving Purity Culture, Finding Non-Monogamy: Healing, Desire & Autonomy with Leah Carey, Ep. 122

What happens when you grow up being told your body isn’t yours, your desires are dangerous, and your worth is tied to being someone’s “only one”… and then you finally break free?

In this powerful conv…

00:54:37  |   Thu 07 Aug 2025
Why Finding Your People Changes Everything in Non-Monogamy, Ep. 121

Why Finding Your People Changes Everything in Non-Monogamy, Ep. 121

In non-monogamy, being misunderstood often feels like the default—and being truly seen? That’s the exception. But finding your people truly changes everything.

In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monog…

00:26:09  |   Thu 31 Jul 2025
You’re Not Wrong for Wanting More: Let’s End That Lie, Ep. 120

You’re Not Wrong for Wanting More: Let’s End That Lie, Ep. 120

Do you worry that your desires make you “too much”?

Like wanting more connection, more honesty, or more love means something is wrong with you?

You're not broken—you’re just becoming.

In this episode of…

00:14:04  |   Thu 24 Jul 2025
Your Brain Gets Polyamory—But What About Your Body? Ep. 119

Your Brain Gets Polyamory—But What About Your Body? Ep. 119

So your mind gets polyamory—you’ve read the books, done the therapy, had the late-night conversations. But your body? It’s still freaking out when your partner goes on a date. Welcome to the nervous …

01:04:35  |   Thu 17 Jul 2025
Creating Sexy, Safe, and Soulful Community with Jamie Love, Ep. 118

Creating Sexy, Safe, and Soulful Community with Jamie Love, Ep. 118

What actually happens at sex-positive events? Cuddle parties? Consent circles? Erotic service? 👀 In this episode of Nope! We're Not Monogamous, I sit down with Jamie Love, Executive Director of Sex P…

00:44:28  |   Thu 10 Jul 2025
You Don’t Have to Be the ‘Chill Poly Partner’ to Deserve Love, Ep. 117

You Don’t Have to Be the ‘Chill Poly Partner’ to Deserve Love, Ep. 117

Feeling like the “easy one” in your polycule?
Always chill, never the squeaky wheel?
This episode is your permission slip to stop shrinking for connection.

We’re breaking down what it means to disappear…

00:26:24  |   Thu 03 Jul 2025
Why You’re Stuck in the Same Fight on Repeat (and How to Break the Loop) Ep. 116

Why You’re Stuck in the Same Fight on Repeat (and How to Break the Loop) Ep. 116

Are you having the same fight over and over in your non-monogamous relationship—and wondering why nothing ever changes?

You’re not broken. You’re in a pattern. And until you understand what’s undernea…

00:18:45  |   Thu 19 Jun 2025
How to Say the Hard Thing Without Burning Everything Down, Ep. 115

How to Say the Hard Thing Without Burning Everything Down, Ep. 115

You’re not broken. You just never learned how to say the hard thing without burning everything down.

In this episode, I’m sharing how to actually talk about the uncomfortable stuff in non-monogamy—wit…

00:18:08  |   Thu 12 Jun 2025
Tantra, Throuples, and the Best Sex of Her Life at 65 with Xanet Pailet

Tantra, Throuples, and the Best Sex of Her Life at 65 with Xanet Pailet

What happens when you go from 26 years in a sexless marriage… to a full-blown sexual awakening in your 50s? This week, I’m joined by Xanet Pailet — a former healthcare lawyer turned tantra teacher, s…

00:42:52  |   Thu 05 Jun 2025
Stop Compromising, Start Collaborating: A New Approach to Non-Monogamy Ep. 113

Stop Compromising, Start Collaborating: A New Approach to Non-Monogamy Ep. 113

Tired of misunderstandings, silent resentment, or agreements that leave you feeling unseen?

In this episode, we unpack the real difference between collaboration and compromise—and how building intenti…

00:16:39  |   Thu 29 May 2025
Why Self-Love Looks Different in Non-Monogamy (And Why You Can’t “Positive Vibes” Your Way Through Comparison)

Why Self-Love Looks Different in Non-Monogamy (And Why You Can’t “Positive Vibes” Your Way Through Comparison)

Do you ever feel like you’re doing everything right in your open or polyamorous relationship—and yet still crumble inside the moment your partner connects with someone else? 

In this honest and unfilt…

00:20:28  |   Thu 22 May 2025
Love Beyond Boundaries: Jeff Hudson on Throuples, Jealousy & Non-Monogamy

Love Beyond Boundaries: Jeff Hudson on Throuples, Jealousy & Non-Monogamy

What happens when a long-term couple invites a third person into their relationship—and it doesn’t go as planned?

In this raw and revealing episode, I sit down with six-time Emmy-nominated TV producer…

00:54:44  |   Thu 15 May 2025
The Hidden Costs of Comparing Yourself to Your Metamour, Ep. 110

The Hidden Costs of Comparing Yourself to Your Metamour, Ep. 110

You know you’re enough—but the second your partner mentions her, the spiral starts.
Sound familiar?

In this honest, grounding episode, I break down the real costs of comparison in non-monogamous relat…

00:16:01  |   Thu 08 May 2025
Reframing Jealousy as a Powerful Tool in Open Relationships with Dr. Emma Smith

Reframing Jealousy as a Powerful Tool in Open Relationships with Dr. Emma Smith

Navigating non-monogamy can stir up some BIG emotions—especially jealousy. But what if jealousy wasn’t something to fight against... but a tool for deeper connection?

In this episode, I sit down with …

00:53:24  |   Thu 01 May 2025
Jealousy to Compersion: Communicating Through Emotions in Open Relationships with Ally Iseman

Jealousy to Compersion: Communicating Through Emotions in Open Relationships with Ally Iseman

Ever wondered if you can learn to feel compersion instead of jealousy? Or if talking about opening up your relationship means you're actually ready to do it? This episode dives deep into these questi…

00:42:38  |   Thu 24 Apr 2025
Why You Keep Comparing Yourself to Your Metamour (And How to Stop), Ep. 107

Why You Keep Comparing Yourself to Your Metamour (And How to Stop), Ep. 107

Struggling with comparison in your non-monogamous relationship?

Whether it’s jealousy, insecurity, or spiraling thoughts when your partner mentions someone new—you’re not alone, and you’re not broken.

00:14:51  |   Thu 17 Apr 2025
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