No Small Talk, Episode 13 “Strangle You In The Huddle”

The famed author, Chuck Klosterman, created intricate questions in an attempt to avoid “small talk.” Per his words: “Some people are extremely good at making small talk. These people are better known as ‘idiots’. “

Having all their conversations be nothing but small, Matthew Ryan and Stephanie Sottile thought it’d be fun to answer some of these questions:

1.  You need to have the inside of your home painted. A thorough online search available professional painters indicates that one candidate is especially ideal for your needs- he has earned high approval ratings from past employers and is relatively inexpensive. However, when you contact him by phone, he mentions one strange detail about his work habits: He insists on watching pornography while painting. “Don’t worry- I don’t masturbate to it. It’s just for entertainment,” he says. “But it’s the only way I like to paint. This being the case, I will need to use your DVD player to view my personal collection of erotic films while I work. I may also use your cable service to purchase on-demand or pay-per-view pornographic movies, but I will itemize any movies I watch and subtract the cost from you overall bill.”

Do you employ this pornography enthusiast as your house painter?

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