Salad Dressing on the Side: Are You High-Maintenance?

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Ever been hesitant to speak up because you're afraid of being labeled "high maintenance" or difficult? You're not alone. Sometime I find myself pondering a question many women face daily: When does assertiveness cross into territory that might get us unfairly judged?

Drawing from the classic "When Harry Met Sally" scene about high maintenance women who order their salad dressing on the side, we explore the subtle and not-so-subtle ways society conditions us—especially women—to minimize our needs and preferences. The modern "Karen" stereotype has only complicated this dynamic, creating even more anxiety around speaking up.

But here's the truth worth embracing: having preferences doesn't make you high maintenance. Expressing needs doesn't make you difficult. The key lies in discernment—understanding when to assert yourself (particularly in personal relationships where your needs matter deeply) versus when to practice radical acceptance for situations beyond your control. Sometimes nothing is going to change, regardless of your input or opinion. Other times, like when addressing issues with a partner, speaking up becomes essential for a healthy relationship.

Finding this balance isn't about becoming completely uncompromising or entirely accommodating. It's about honoring your authentic self while navigating a world that sometimes struggles to make space for individual preferences. You deserve to have your metaphorical salad dressing on the side if that makes your meal more enjoyable. Don't keep yourself small just to avoid judgment. Listen now to explore how you can advocate for yourself without apology while also choosing your battles wisely.

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