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Boundaries Are About What You Want, Not What You Don't

Author
Mary Rothwell
Published
Mon 14 Jul 2025
Episode Link
None

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Boundaries have become one of those trendy buzzwords thrown around in personal development circles, but what do they really mean in practice? This mini-episode cuts through the confusion to explore what healthy boundaries actually look like in everyday life.

Many of us mistakenly believe that strong boundaries must be rigid, unchanging walls – when in reality, they're typically flexible guidelines that shift based on our needs and circumstances. The key insight missing from most boundary discussions? Effective boundaries aren't built around what you don't want, but rather what you actively desire in your relationships and life.

Through practical examples – from dealing with chronically late friends to managing unbalanced relationships – we explore how boundaries work in the real world. Rather than dramatic confrontations or ultimatums, the most powerful boundaries are often communicated through consistent actions and changed behaviors. When someone's actions make you feel uncomfortable or hurt, that's valuable information pointing toward a boundary you might need to establish.

Perhaps most importantly, we discuss how we inadvertently teach people to cross our boundaries when our actions don't align with our stated limits. The path to healthier relationships begins with honest self-reflection about the patterns we participate in maintaining. By focusing on creating what we truly want rather than eliminating what we don't, we develop boundaries that honor our needs while allowing relationships to evolve and thrive. Ready to transform your approach to boundaries? This episode offers the practical wisdom you've been searching for.

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