Trump’s name pops up in the Epstein files, the DOJ won’t release the goods, and Congress wants it all anyway. The White House yells “fake news” but can’t find the off switch. Meanwhile, Trump invents a trade deal with Japan, the EU threatens to nuke our bourbon, and the new AI plan looks like Skynet with a flag. Tesla crashes, lobbyists sweat, and somewhere in Washington, someone definitely
shit themselves.
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