RFK Jr.'s Whale Tale, Sitcom Fails, and Mel's Hanky Panky: Your Daily Dose of Bizarre!

This is your News You do not Need podcast.

Imagine waking up this morning and learning that the world is, once again, full of stories you absolutely do not need to know—but will now never un-know. For example, while most of you were peacefully sipping your coffee, the universe was busy ensuring that, somewhere, a decapitated whale was involved in a story about soaking a car and children. Yes, you heard me right: Robert F. Kennedy Jr. apparently revealed that he once let decapitated whale juice soak his car and his offspring. I know what you’re thinking: “I’ve barely managed to get ketchup out of the seats—how does one tackle whale juice?” This is not something Martha Stewart has tips for, folks.

But wait, the tale gets thicker. On a recent podcast, Secretary of Health and Human Services, RFK Jr., further delighted listeners with talk of his favorite episode of his wife’s sitcom, which involved, as only true connoisseurs of fine art can appreciate, an urgent bathroom emergency in a car wash. Budget-friendly reality television, eat your heart out. Yes, while Cheryl Hines may want to forget the “diarrhea in the car wash” episode, her husband is ready to regale the public with the details. Somewhere in Hollywood, publicists are covering their faces with handkerchiefs and questioning their career choices.

Speaking of handkerchiefs, let’s pivot to Mel Brooks, who shared the secret to filming *Blazing Saddles* without the crew spontaneously combusting into laughter. Mel, genius that he is, simply bought a thousand white handkerchiefs and instructed everyone to stuff them in their mouths whenever things got too funny. Apparently, the set ended up looking like an emergency dental ward, with every crew member biting down and stifling giggles like it was a competitive Olympic sport. Mel claims this was a perfect “litmus test” for jokes: if there were a forest of white flags in mouths, the scene was a keeper. If not, back to the drawing board—presumably after laundering a thousand soggy handkerchiefs.

You know, sometimes you need to pause and appreciate that the most bizarre news isn’t necessarily the doom-and-gloom headline, but rather the little nuggets that squeeze themselves into the cracks of reality, leaving you confused but slightly entertained. Today’s lesson: if you think your Tuesday is weird because your microwave keeps beeping at you for no reason, just remember, somewhere out there, someone had to explain to a car detailer why there’s whale residue on the car seat. And someone else, possibly with a Ph.D., is furiously Googling how to remove the memory of a sitcom diarrhea scene from the internet.

So, when the world feels heavy, just be grateful you’re not washing whale off your car, or stuffing a handkerchief in your mouth to keep your job, and you can—at least for today—chalk all this up as knowledge you absolutely didn’t need, but now have.

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