Fireworks Fiascos: Warehouses Explode, Lawns Launch, and Insurance Agents Cringe

This is your News You do not Need podcast.

Picture this: you’re spending your Fourth of July prepping for the big fireworks show—not the kind where your cousin Bob almost sets your eyebrows on fire, but something official, professional, with all the sparkles and none of the mild singeing. Now, imagine you’re in Yolo County, California, and instead of watching fireworks light up the night sky, you’re watching an entire fireworks warehouse explode into flames. Not the intended “ooh, ahh” moment, unless you enjoy your pyrotechnics with a side of extreme property damage and emergency vehicles.

Yes, this actually happened just yesterday—a warehouse, bursting with fireworks, going up in smoke and sparks, like a Michael Bay film directed by someone with very poor impulse control. Seven people are missing, acres burned, and the search slowed because, well, the risk of more stuff exploding is high. It’s not the kind of hazard pay most people hope for, unless you’re specifically looking for a career with “kaboom” in the job description.

Meanwhile, the Fourth tradition of backyard mishaps is strong across America. Fire departments nationwide are on high alert, because, once again, someone decided that “hold my beverage and watch this” would be the theme of their family picnic. In Cape Cod, a fireworks display exploded prematurely at a country club—four people were injured, which is probably not what they had in mind when paying for VIP seating.

Back to the fiery warehouse: the cause is still under investigation, but let’s just say, storing that many fireworks in one place is basically inviting fate to a barbecue. Authorities are using drones to scout the still-smoldering ruins, presumably because nobody wants to be “that guy” who walks into a fireworks warehouse after it’s already surprised everyone once. The company running the warehouse, in textbook corporate fashion, issued a statement with thoughts and prayers, which fireworks aficionados everywhere agree does not come close to a refund, or a fire extinguisher.

As if smoky warehouses and impromptu firework shows weren’t enough, in Albuquerque, another house was taken out by fireworks—a trend that’s making insurance agents nationwide contemplate early retirement. There’s nothing that says “holiday spirit” like celebrating freedom by accidentally freeing your neighbor’s lawn furniture into low orbit.

The job report may be up, but apparently so are America’s emergency room visits and insurance premiums, at least during the nation’s annual amateur chemistry experiment. And while the real pros warn about safety year after year, the rest of us will continue to marvel at our ability to turn a box of pyrotechnics into unplanned performance art. So, the next time you’re tempted to keep your fireworks stash next to your grill, remember: the only thing more explosive than America’s independence is apparently its steadfast commitment to learning fire safety the hard way.

For more http://www.quietplease.ai


Get the best deals https://amzn.to/3ODvOta