Stop Performing, Start Belonging: The Cost of Being "Nice"

Author: Celeste Case-Ruchala
Published: Mon 08 Sep 2025
Episode Link: None

You’ve been called “the nice one,” “so easy to be around,” “low maintenance.”
But let’s be honest—behind that gold star lies a woman who’s exhausted from scanning the room, editing her voice, and performing for acceptance.

In this episode of My Healing is Your Healing, we unravel the hidden layers of people-pleasing—not just as a habit, but as a trauma-informed survival response tied to perfectionism, approval addiction, and the deep fear that our full selves might be too much.

Through personal storytelling (hello, wedding wake-up call), we explore the ways we learned to shrink:

Smiling instead of speaking up
Curating our truth to feel safe
Mistaking palatability for love

We name the unspoken:
✨ That people-pleasing is self-abandonment in a polite disguise
✨ That approval is a poor substitute for intimacy
✨ That you cannot be fully loved if you are not fully seen

And we begin the return to self-authority.

Inside this episode:

The Good Girl Script and how it shapes adult relationships
How over-functioning leads to burnout, resentment, and invisibility
Why curated love isn't love at all—and what to choose instead
The difference between armor and authenticity
Journal prompts & mirror work to start reclaiming your truth

💡 Toolbox Segment: A 5-prompt self-inquiry practice + a simple weekly challenge to break one micro-pattern of shrinking and reclaim your voice in real time.

This one’s not just a podcast. It’s a permission slip.
To disappoint others before you abandon yourself.
To take up space.
To finally be seen.

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