It’s okay to be high maintenance

Like many other girls, I always tried to fit into the cool girl image of not caring so much, going with the flow and not worrying about what I look like. And then I realised that all of these things do not represent me in the slightest. It does upset me if I break a nail, or if my outfit isn't coming out the way I envisioned it in my head. 

And with this realisation I decided to lean into it. To begin to put as much time into myself as felt right for me and see how it made me feel. I noticed a drastic shift in my self esteem and confidence, and most importantly I feel so much more authentic within myself.  

Like any change, it comes with pushback. If you change something within yourself, your external environment will always shift accordingly and for me it meant a disconnect with people around me who started to mock me or scoff at me for choices that felt better for me. 

Although the conversation of wanting to look good seems shallow or superficial, for me it had an overwhelmingly big shift on my social circles as I found that the more time I invested into myself, the more firm I was on my boundaries. 

I also find that the higher standard I hold myself to, the less tolerance I have for other people’s behaviour. Whereas before it was common place to make excuses for friends/family/colleagues, honouring yourself means not allowing the behaviour that isn’t in line with the newest version of you. 

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