Stepdad? Nah... Bonus Dad | Rafael Torres on Step Parenting, Stigma, Fatherhood

Parenthood is a challenging adventure. And in a blended family, step parenting comes with its own set of unique obstacles. From custody arrangements to personal conflicts to social stigma, step-fatherhood, in particular, has developed a curious reputation over the decades. Rafael Torres, a father to two young daughters, (one biological and one step), shares perspective and advice that all dads could benefit from hearing—and why he prefers the term “Bonus Dad" to step dad all day long. Stick around to the end for the special subsegment of "So That’s A Thing Now:" So Those Are Things Now.

Modern Dadhood Episode 39 opens with a quick catch-up between hosts Marc and Adam in which Marc shares about his twin boys’ recent third birthday celebration. They briefly discuss Adam’s uncharacteristic (and moderately unbecoming) mustache, and a miraculous and unlikely victory by Modern Dadhood on TheOnlyPodcastAwardThatActuallyMatters.com... before transitioning to the episode’s ACTUAL topic: step parenting.

Neither Adam nor Marc have step parents or step children, so the perspective discussed prior to guest Rafael Torres joining, are solely based on observations of their friends, and cultural interpretations and stigmas. They quickly welcome Rafael, a father to one biological daughter and stepdad a second daughter, into the conversation. Rafael is a structural steel designer and drafter, as well as the moderator of the Bonus Parents Facebook group. Through a candid discussion about Rafael’s own experience as a stepfather (which he proudly refers to as a “Bonus Dad,”) as well as his observations from moderating a group of fellow bonus parents, Rafael sheds light on the best parts, and the most challenging parts, of a blended family. Topics include:
 

• Witnessing your partner as a parent from the beginning of your relationship
• ALL the parenting acronyms!
• References and support for step parents
• Custody and other common blended family issues
• Navigating relationships with biological parents
• Overcoming misconceptions and stigmas around step parenting
• Learning to decode your stepchild’s language

Marc shares a So That’s A Thing Now involving one of his three-year-olds and a new recurring question before closing out the episode.
 

[Episode Transcript]
 

Links:
Bonus Parents (Facebook)
Co-Parenting SubReddit
Blended Family Frappe
National Stepfamily Resource Center
The Stepfather
The Only Podcast Award That Actually Matters
Red Vault Audio
Caspar Babypants
Spencer Albee

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