The Mask of Masculinity - Lewis Howes pt1

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The 9 Masks of Masculinity

1. The Stoic mask - invulnerable and tough, emotionless
2. The Athlete mask - the clearest way to be an alpha is on the sports field
3. The Material mask - the amount of money in his bank account and his net worth shows his worth
4. The Sexual mask - his worth is defined by the number of women he’s slept with.
5. The Aggressive mask - violent and tough by nature.
6. The Joker mask - a sense of humor that can repel any critique
7. The Invincible mask - a man doesn’t fear anything he doesn't have time to think about consequences, they’re too busy taking action
8. The Know It All mask - a man is intellectually dominant, knows all about everything. Doesn’t need anybody to help him
9. The Alpha mask - they are only 2 types of men, alpha and betas. Winners and losers. Must win everything.

1 - The Stoic Mask:
- Warrior mindset, staying cool under pressure and not ever being seen as afraid, even if you are. Never let them see you sweat, especially as a leader.
- Being strong during times of crisis or tough events is good, it allows you to get through the crisis, the problem becomes when this tough facade becomes part of who you are all the time.
- Modern day men are less social than they used to be, but it is this social connection of yesteryear that allowed men to bond whilst doing another activity
- Encouragement from a partner in a good relationship will scientifically help us achieve goals. However, a lot of men lack the EQ in order to be open and vulnerable to partners and other men
- Traditional masculinity makes it hard for men to connect with other men, meaning that men rely more on their spouse for emotional support
- The less a person understands their feelings, the more they will fall prey to them and act inappropriately with them
- Practical steps: Start journaling, reflecting and sharing

2 - The Athlete Mask
- As a society, we associate masculinity with physical prowess.
- You have to be more than just an athlete, there are countless pro athletes that have terrible personal lives, and there are other athletes who use their fame to do good in society
- Athletes learn to put up with pain and play through it. The crowds revere and celebrate athletes who play through injuries and pain
- A lot of men watch soap operas that are disguised as professional sport leagues - allowing men to identify and live vicariously through pro teams and also allow their emotions to come through, the only time they are able to bond with other men and
- The gym is a way to control an out of control life, a way to make up for being made to feel inferior to others
- The key to happiness and success in a team, is to serve a bigger purpose - by being part of a team sacrificing personal achievements for the greater good lead to fulfillment. However, once the team is no longer around, men become lost
- People won’t remember you for your athletic accomplishments, but remember you for what you did for them
- What are you avoiding/neglecting by being too obsessed?

3 - The Material Mask
- Historically, the man’s worth is his ability to provide for the family
- There is a sense of shame by not being able to provide financially for their loved ones
- Material wealth, doesn’t mean your ideas & opinions are true. It doesn’t validate your opinion or add to your credibility
- Nothing wrong with wanting nice things, but it won’t solve your deep rooted problems
- Don’t be a man of material success, but be a man of value.
- Are you spending your money to show off to others, or to make yourself happy?
- When wearing this mask, realize that more will never be enough, because you have a results based, self worth attitude, So when you are successful at a goal, you are a successful person, but when you fail, you are a failure. You have to detach your self worth from your results.

4 - The Sexual Mask
- It’s not about intimacy, it’s about arithmetic
- Trying to please your own(continued)