Mikiatures 35 - Lumberjack Song

Lumberjack Song
Diploma in English Language Teaching to Anyone, July 2011
Module One, Paper 1, Task 2
The painful truth is this: regardless of teacher, method, resources or techniques, a good student will always learn and a bad student never will.
How do you cope with being a redundant piece of furniture in the classroom?
Examiners’ Report
Once again, a large percentage of candidates happily admitted that they are “a complete waste of space” and “totally superfluous to the learning process”. Many proceeded to belt out their sob-sob stories of “I never wanted to do this, anyway”, “I should have listened to my evil stepmother”, “I wanted to be a lumberjack”, and so on.
It had been hoped that candidates would argue that there is a place for the teacher in the language classroom – in the corner, on the floor, at the back, under the desk, etc. – and that they have a vital role to play: stimulating interest, organising practice, presenting language, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Several candidates did in fact take this line, while one bright spark passed automatically on account of her including the phrases “source of knowledge”, “font of wisdom” and “facilitator of information” in her opening sentence.