Wasted Time
Twenty-two hundred hours. Twenty-one in the Canaries. Mick took a deep breath, said a short prayer and opened the kitchen door. Operation Garbage was underway.
Phase One – “The Bin Liners” – was relatively straightforward:
1. Push rubbish down until bin liner straps become visible.
2. Grab liner by aforementioned straps, taking care not to break them in process.
3. Curse all and sundry, place clean liner ‘headfirst’ over broken liner, turn bin on head, and empty contents of old liner into new one. Shake vigorously (if it makes you feel any better). Gotcha!
4. Put clean liner in bin before more rubbish materialises.
Phase Two – “The Other Stuff” – was altogether more demanding:
1. Separate ‘recycling mountain’ according to four criteria:
looks like paper
looks like plastic
looks like glass
haven’t a clue
2. Put ‘mini-mountains’ into random bags, tossing a coin where necessary.
3. Proceed to Phase Three – “The Meeting Point”.
Armed with his rubbish, Mick staggered down the stairs, into the rain and across the street. Unfortunately, and not for the first time, Mick “micksed up” his plastics and papers. Knowing his luck, he mused, the Neighbourhood Garbage Watch would have the whole show on video.