Mikiatures 21 - A Friend To Me

A Friend To Me
‘Hey, listen to this, Fred. It says here, “Marjory has poked you”.’
            ‘Oh yeah?’
            ‘Yeah. And now it’s asking me, “Would you like to poke her back?” ’
            ‘Poke her back? What’s wrong with her front?’
            ‘You what?’
            ‘Joke. Yeah, go for it. Er, who’s Marjory?’
            ‘Oh, just a friend.’
            ‘Where did you meet?’
            ‘On a forum.’
            ‘So, what you’re saying is she’s not really a friend at all, is she?’
            ‘Just because we’ve never actually met, that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.’
            ‘So, what does this Marjory look like?’
            ‘She’s got straight black hair and a lovely smile.’
            ‘Is that it?’
            ‘That’s all I can see of her in the photo.’
            ‘And how old is she?’
            ‘Twenty-eight.’
            ‘You’re twice her age!’
            ‘So what? One and three-quarters, actually.’
            ‘And what does she do?’
            ‘She’s a writer.’
            ‘Another one?! Don’t you have any normal friends?’
            ‘Normal friends? People like you, for instance?’
            ‘Yeah. People like me. People like me a lot. So, how many friends have you got?’
            ‘Hang on . . . Four hundred and ninety-nine. Wow! I only had four hundred and eighty-eight last week. Would you like to be my five hundredth Facebook friend, Fred?’
            ‘Piss off.’