Mikiatures 18 - Listen To Me

Listen To Me
‘So, how would you like it?’
            ‘Just a bit off the sides, please, but quite a lot off the t—’
            ‘Good game last night.’
            ‘Sorry?’
            ‘Good game.’
            ‘Was it? Er, just a bit—’
            ‘Did you see the penalty?’
            ‘No, I missed it.’
            ‘So did Lampard. Ha!’
            ‘Yes, very fun—’
            ‘Do you know how much he earns?’
            ‘Sorry?’
            ‘I said, Do you know how much Lampard earns?’
            ‘More than you and me together, I imagine.’
            ‘You can say that again.’
            ‘More than you and me to—’
            ‘Ninety thousand a day.’
            ‘That can’t be right.’
            ‘Yeah, that’s what I said. Did you see that documentary on footballers’ wives last week? Couldn’t be bothered to watch it myself, but my missus saw it.’
            ‘Was it any good?’
            ‘Dunno. After twenty minutes, she announced she was off shopping, and we ain’t seen her since.’
 
‘There you go, son.’
            ‘Oh.’
            ‘What’s the matter?’
            ‘Well, it’s not really what I— Oh well, it doesn’t matter. So, how much is that, please?’
            ‘Thirty-eight fifty.’
            ‘Thirty-eight fifty?!’
            ‘Cheap at half the price.’
            ‘Well, I wouldn’t go that far.’
            ‘Do you know how much Frank Lampard pays to get his hair done? . . .’