3 Marriage Secrets That Actually Work After 20 Years (Love is NOT What You Think)

Think love is enough to make a marriage last? After 20 years of marriage, 5 kids, and countless challenges, including almost losing their first baby, Ricardo and Christian share the raw truth about what actually makes relationships work long-term.

In this deeply personal episode, they reveal three marriage elements that saved their relationship when emotions failed them: why love is a choice not just a feeling, the difference between planning a wedding versus planning a marriage, and why parenting is both a privilege and an obligation.

What You'll Learn

• The question Ricardo asks every couple in premarital counseling that reveals everything
• How a medical crisis during Christian's first pregnancy tested their commitment
• Why "Love Don't Cost a Thing" is actually a lie and what love really costs
• The real reason most marriages fail - it's not what you think
• How to love someone even when you don't "feel" it
• Why feelings are like a rollercoaster and what to do when they flatline
• The difference between wedding planning and marriage planning
• How their church family stepped up during a crisis
• Why they integrate ministry and family life instead of separating them

Key Takeaways

Love is a Choice: Real love isn't just butterflies and romantic gestures. Love is waking up every single day and choosing your person, especially when life throws curveballs you never saw coming.

Marriage is a Decision: We spend months planning the perfect wedding day but how much time do we spend planning for the actual marriage that starts the day after?

Parenting is Privilege and Obligation: Being entrusted with lives that can impact their community is a privilege, but it's also our responsibility to point children toward something greater.

Perfect For

• Engaged couples planning their future together
• Married couples looking to strengthen their relationship
• Anyone curious about what makes love last decades
• Parents balancing marriage and family life
• People who want real talk, not highlight reel perfection

Episode Highlights

Ricardo and Christian get brutally honest about the messy, imperfect reality of long-term relationships. From sharing blankets to sharing dreams, from borrowed engagement rings to hospital vigils, they share intimate stories that reveal how they've built a lasting marriage.

They discuss their first pregnancy crisis when Christian was put on bed rest and they weren't sure their baby would survive. In that hospital room with devastating statistics and difficult decisions, love wasn't a feeling - it was a choice to walk through the fire together.

This isn't your typical marriage advice podcast. This episode will challenge everything you think you know about love and marriage while providing practical wisdom from a couple who's walked the walk - imperfectly, authentically, and with deep intention.

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