What It’s Like to Parent a Child Who Fears Connection

You offer closeness.

They resist.

You offer safety.

They sabotage it.

And it’s not because they don’t want to attach.

It’s because they’ve been trained — by pain — not to.

So connection feels dangerous.

Love feels risky.

You… feel like a threat.

And that’s hard to swallow.

But here’s the assignment:

Be a soft place, even when they’re pushing you away.

Because behind that resistance is a scared kid wondering:

“Will you give up on me too?”

So no — you don’t force connection.

You model consistency.

You plant safety.

You water trust.

And one day… they might choose to lean in.