The First Time You Met Your Child — What You Expected vs. What Actually Happened

I had this image in my head — a warm hug, maybe a shy smile, some kind of spark that told me, “This is your son.”

What actually happened was silence. A lot of silence.

And eyes that wouldn’t meet mine.

He was scared. Rightfully so.

And I realized pretty quickly — this wasn’t about my expectations. This was about his story, his wounds, and his pace.

I thought love would come naturally, but it didn’t.

Not right away.

I had to choose it.

Every awkward dinner, every quiet car ride, every “I don’t care” response.

God reminded me that love isn’t always a feeling.

Sometimes it’s a posture. A decision.

And often, it grows in the space where you lay down what you thought it would be — and embrace what it actually is.

Looking back, I’m so thankful for that slow start.

Because it taught me how to see — really see — a child through the lens of patience and grace.