A Moment When You Felt Completely Unprepared as a Foster or Adoptive Dad

I remember standing in the kitchen that night, hands on the counter, just staring at the floor.

My foster son had just slammed his bedroom door, again. And I was frozen — not angry, not sad, just… completely lost.

Nothing I’d read or been told prepared me for the emotional minefield of that moment.

I thought, “I’m a man, I lead, I protect… why can’t I fix this?”

And worse — “What if I make it worse?”

That was the night I realized foster care isn’t about having the right answers — it’s about having a right heart.

One willing to stay when it’s hard.

One willing to listen more than speak.

One willing to admit, “God, I don’t know what I’m doing — please help.”

That’s the secret no one tells you: the most powerful prayer you’ll ever pray as a foster dad might just be,

“Lord, guide me… I’m not enough without You.”

That night didn’t end in a breakthrough.

There was no Hallmark moment.

But I was there.

And the next day — I was still there.

That’s what faithfulness looks like in this role.

Not being perfect… just being present.