#017 | Unlocking Human Potential through Emotional Intelligence with Victor Ung

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#017: Victor is an emotional intelligence coach for Asian men. He’s the host of the Human Up podcast as well as a co-host for Badass Asian Dudes. 

In this episode, we talk about the struggles of growing up in Asian cultures where men are not taught to properly express and deal with their emotions in a healthy manner, and how we can become better more effective individuals. This is sort of a general talk about emotional intelligence, just really touching the topic before I get deeper into it in future episodes. If you want, skip to 20:45 to get to the juicier parts.

If this isn’t already obvious to you, self-awareness is key to becoming the best version of oneself. Being in touch with your emotions, knowing how and why you feel what you feel and how to deal with that in a positive productive manner is arguably one of the most important skillsets or mindsets you can have. You can heal past trauma. This applies to family, friendships, and business. I know as time goes on, I become better at controlling my emotions. More and more, I deal with people more openly, humbly, productively, positively, further unlocking my human potential instead of being locked down in my egoic past stories of who I am or what people are like or what I think they or the world should be. 

What I want for anyone listening to take away from this episode is that it’s okay to admit we’ve had problems with our family or our upbringings. I want us to speak more frankly and openly, so we’re not scared of dealing with our pasts. We don’t have to run away from ourselves, from the pain anymore. I grew up in a dysfunctional household, like so many other people, especially countless Asian families, especially Asian-American families. If your story is anything like mine at all, I want you to know that I feel your pain very deeply and it’s okay to seek forgiveness, to forgive others, and to heal and seek happiness within yourself. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, it’s an opportunity for us as individuals to transcend our traumatic pasts in order to become excellent human beings who rise to the top. 

It’s always a work in progress, especially when it comes to improving one’s relationship with one’s parents, if you’ve had a traumatic relationship with them. I’ve found a working model of forgiveness, acceptance, and love. It’s not perfect, I’m not perfect, but I’m trying and I’m much better off for doing it. EVERY RECALL IS A REFRAME. I want to reframe all my past negative experiences with family and my culture as necessary events for me to become a kinder, more compassionate and empathetic realer person. 

Seek mentors! People whose lives seem to be in a dope spot, where you want to be. Go meet those people, hang out with them, and see if you can make your own version of a reality you want to live and experience. If you need help, well, you can always hit me up! 

By the way, I met Victor through the BAD Facebook Group. If you want to join that awesome community and connect with awesome Asian brothers around the world doing super cool stuff and living life on their own terms, please hit me up and I’ll invite you. 

You can follow him on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_victorung/

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