Crash Bandicoot Lore

What if everything was cold forever? The Lore Boys have taken a break from worrying about the heat death of the Universe to bring you another episode of hilarity-filled video game lore! Today's topic: the Crash Bandicoot series.

That's right, everyone's favorite lizard -- ehm, I mean, marsupial -- makes his Lore Boys debut, and we're handing out pizza fliers with this game-box! We talk real possum-skin couches. A dingo that can use a phone. How too many cooks can spoil the crash. Sonic's ass. And naturally, Crystals: they look like crystals.

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As always, we're sending a whale bone to Eric Skiff for the use of his song, "A Night of Dizzy Spells" as our theme song.

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