1. EachPod

212. The Double Work of Fighting and Judging Your Relationship

Author
Sarah Cohan
Published
Wed 20 Aug 2025
Episode Link
https://www.sarahcohan.com/

Life, and love, is 50/50. Half joy and connection, half frustration and discomfort. But when perfectionism creeps into a relationship, we start judging the tough moments as signs something is wrong.

In this episode, I share how my own perfectionist mindset showed up in marriage and why it doubled the work during conflict, repairing the fight and the fear it meant we were broken. You’ll learn how perfectionism often hides a craving for calm (especially for Dismissive Avoidant types) and how to create that peace without demanding perfection.

Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043

Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.com

Visit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/


If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform


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