21. Perfectionism in Parenting with Amy Koch

Because we love our children so much, we often have big dreams and expectations for them. We want them to be happy, and because we see their greatness, accomplish all that we see them being capable of accomplishing. But this can make it so hard to be the parent they need us to be. Teen coach, Amy Koch, is here today as we continue our teen series. We will discuss ways that we can relax some of our parental perfectionism and just enjoy being the parent.

More from Amy:

Website: Visit www.findyourmind.com where you can schedule a free consultation and sign up for a free guide to help your teen.

Instagram is amykoch.findyourmind

Featured Coach: Amy Koch

Niche: Teens and young adults who have anxiety and want to build confidence.

Website: www.findyourmind.com

Mentioned Resources: “Be Ye Therefore Perfect - Eventually” by Jeffery R. Holland; Maze-bright and Maze-dull rat study

Takeaways:

*Predicaments - situations outside of us that we aren’t sure what to do - happen to all of us. 

*We as parents can often see the blindspots that our teens don’t see and trying to control their blindspots can interfere with us trying to let them be independent.

*Perfect in the Hebrew and Greek languages means “complete and whole”. When we can see it through that definition it takes the pressure off  of us to be right and “perfect” all the time. This can help us as we parent our teens not only in our parenting but also in how we view their journey.

*We are always on the path and Christ will meet us where we are.

*You want to be a safe place to fall for our teens so they know they can come to talk to us about anything. 

*Being willing to course correct in how we are parenting our teens is how we succeed.

*Parenting our teens is often from a place of almost experimentation for both parent and teen. Neither has navigated their roles before and so we are all learning together.  

*The better you come to know the role and how God parents, the easier it will be to know how to parent your teens. 

*The culture and spirit we want in our home is up to us as parents. We need to be anchored in that steady place of being loving and accepting. 

*When we are in tune with the moment, we will be able to better know what to do in that moment.

Discussion Points:

• As a parent to teens, we can often find ourselves on the battle fronts of all of nothing thinking. How is it beneficial to at times seek a more middle ground and how have you done that?
• What is the “lens” that you are currently seeing your teens through? How can you change it?
• The one who has the control over your feelings as a parent of teens is you. How do you want to feel when you are parenting your teenager? How often are you able to get there?

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