My Ma’s Gonna Kill Me – Patsy vs Briege: The Day the Green Cross Code Was Rewritten by the Scullions

My Ma’s Gonna Kill Me – Patsy vs Briege: The Day the Green Cross Code Was Rewritten by the Scullions

Welcome back to It’s a Scullion Thing, the darkly funny Irish family podcast about chaos, craic, and pure West Belfast survival. This week’s story is a two-for-one – starring two unforgettable Scullion sisters: my mum Patsy Scullion (AKA Tiny Tears) and her wee sister Briege Scullion (AKA Bridie’s Shadow).

Patsy was second born of eleven children – automatically promoted to Second Mummy while Granny Bridie worked every job under the sun to feed her brood.

Sensitive, fiercely protective, but famously accident-prone, she’s the one family members love… and sometimes fear. Even big brother Tommy still wouldn’t cross her.

Briege? She’s stubborn, headstrong, allergic to the word “no,” and followed her sister Bridie everywhere. On this sunny 1970s Belfast day, Briege had one mission: ice cream.

The problem?

Patsy was hauling two massive bags of laundry (for twelve people) down to the Busybee Laundrette, a couple of miles away.

Money was tight, tempers were short, and when Briege spotted an ice cream shop across a busy main road, things turned dangerous fast.

Patsy said no.

Briege didn’t take it well.

A shouting match turned into a tug-of-war.

Then Briege broke free – and ran straight in front of a double decker bus.

It hit her. She flew (maybe not twenty feet, but family legend insists otherwise). Patsy froze, convinced she’d just killed her sister. Then Briege popped up, yelled “I’m telling my ma!”, and sprinted home like her life depended on it.

Cue the mile-long uphill chase through Andersonstown. By the time Patsy arrived, Briege had already told their brother Sean, “She pushed me in front of a bus.” Patsy’s only thought? My ma’s gonna kill me.

To this day, no one agrees on what happened.

Patsy swears Briege jumped.

Briege swears Patsy shoved her.

Knowing both? I

t’s 50/50.

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