Parenting with Purpose, on Purpose

"Send Ben a text"

Why is purpose so important? 

In Lewis Carroll's book, Alice in Wonderland, Alice comes to a fork in the road and asks, 

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?'
'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat.
'I don't much care where -' said Alice.
'Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat."

Many parents have never really taken the time to explore their purpose as a parent, which is totally understandable. I mean, it's not like anyone really ever asks us to think of things like this. 

Without a parenting purpose, it's easy to get distracted from what is most important to you. 

Without a defined purpose, role, or vision, you don't have the guidance of a goal. 

When we take time to define our purpose as a parent, we focus on the results that WE would like to achieve in OUR lives and in OUR role as parents. 

Defining our purpose gives us purpose and direction. 

Defining our purpose makes us proactive instead or reactive.

Who gets to define YOUR purpose?

First, let's look at the word define vs. find. 

I've heard people talk about finding their purpose. That's a little different. Finding suggests that we are looking for something. Finding suggests that we are at the mercy of whether or not we find whatever it is we are looking for. Finding puts our focus on something outside of ourselves. 

Defining our purpose is something within our control. Rather than looking for something outside of ourselves, we are looking within ourselves and creating our purpose. We are the ones in control. We are the ones creating the definition of our role as a parent. 

Your role and purpose will be unique to you. It will be shaped by your values, your characteristics, your life experiences, and the impact that you want to have. In other words, YOU are defining your own purpose as a parent. 

I have a friend who is big into hunting and camping, and everything outdoors. He see's his role as a teacher and example in passing down their family traditions and the importance of hunting, camping, fishing and other things. 

I have another friend who believes it is her role to be an example of having an open mind, being accepting of others, and treating others with love and kindness. 

I believe that my role is to be a coach, teacher, and example. This gives my guidance and direction in ALL parenting situations. 

How to define your purpose.

• Brainstorm
  • Take 5-10 minutes to write your thoughts on this. 
  • Look inward:
    • What are your values?
    • What is your role?
    • How would you like to be remembered?
• Define
  • Clearly write down your purpose. 
  • Make it clear and concise. 
  • Make sure it is aligned with your values.
• Refine
  • Your purpose doesn't need to be set in stone. 
  • You can change and refine your purpose as you change and grow. 
  • Your purpose is alive and ever-changing. 

Remember, this is YOUR purpose. You get to define it.

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