I Woke Up This Gay
I WOKE UP THIS GAY
-A podcast by Stuart Merrill, LGBTQ+ rights activist, lobbyist and public speaker on diversity.
The miracle of diversity we devoted our lives to create is under threat.
NOT ON MY WATCH!
In "I WOKE UP THIS GAY" I recall our LGBTQ+ history and my 50+ years of experiences as an out gay man, activist, advocate and lobbyist. During that time I worked for various U.S. intelligence agencies, various news organizations and eventually as a professional LGBTQ+ rights lobbyist.
I've lived and worked as an openly gay man in 6 countries including the USA, the Soviet Union, Germany and South Africa. I have also traveled and worked in 50+ countries.
Born into a prominent Mormon family in 1960, my gay journey began at the age of 12 when our Mormon Bishop commanded the men in my life, including my older brother and Scout Master, to beat the queer out of me. The violence continued for the rest of my childhood. (Episodes 2, 4, 8, 9, 10, 14, 15 & 19)
Primarily raised by my Russian mother speaking Russian, German & English. (See episodes 2, 3, 4 & 10), I was recruited out of high school to work for United States intelligence agencies and became the first American allowed to keep my top secret security clearance after coming out as a gay man. (Episode 3).
I came of age during the LGBTQ+ rights movement and the AIDS epidemic in North America, Eastern and Western Europe. (Episodes 2, 5, 7, 14 & 15).
I returned to Utah as an adult and founded an LGBTQ+ rights advocacy organization. We successfully lobbied to increase state and federal funding for HIV medication, hate crimes legislation and LGBTQ+ rights bills. (Episodes 21, 22, 23, 24 & 25).
While living in Moscow my boyfriend became the hero of the 1991 revolution that ended Communism in Russia. Two days later he was arrested, tortured and murdered by the KGB for being a prominent gay activist (Episode 1).
I watched a man beaten to death by gay bashers in New York City while the armed policeman standing right next to me refused to stop it, or even take my witness statement (Episode 8).
By the age of 30 most of my friends were dead, or dying from AIDS. When my best friend Stevie was dying of pneumonia his nurses were not allowed to give him oxygen because he had AIDS. That's when I vowed to become an activist. (Episode 5).
The best way to fight the recent upsurge in anti LGBTQ+ legislation, rhetoric and violence is to tell our stories. We must remind people what it was like when we were the focus of America's hatred, discrimination and violence.
My name is Stuart Merrill
And
I Woke Up This Gay!
- Update frequency
- every 29 days
- Average duration
- 28 minutes
- Episodes
- 37
- Years Active
- 2022 - 2025
34. Momma Kerfuffle, Part Two
In this episode my friend Uncle Kerfuffle's mom shares her very touching story of love and admiration for her transgender son. She recalls how she embraced her son's decision to transition and became…
33. Momma Kerfuffle, Part One
In this episode my friend Uncle Kerfuffle's mom shares her very touching story of love and admiration for her transgender son. She recalls how she embraced her son's decision to transition and became…
32. Conversation With A. Wolf, Part 2
In this episode my fury, transgender friend Ali tells us about her move to Portland and her decision to transition. With honesty and openness she courageously gives us an enlightened understanding of…
31. Conversation with A. Wolf, Part 1
My furry friend Ali Wolf tells us about her personal journey as a transgender woman. Ali is by nature a very private person, however, in this interview she courageously opens a window to her soul. Al…
Celebrate Diverse America
"TODAY WE ARE ALL AMERICANS" Abraham Lincoln
Celebrate the true, wonderfully diverse America I love and am so proud to be a part of.
Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/i-woke-up-this-gay/d…
30. Beyond The Jello Brick Road
LIVE from Gilead, our new Trumptastic American dystopia. Where chaos reigns and Fox New still complains.
This is my humorous take on Trump and his MAGAmaniacs at the 100 day mark of Trump's presidency…
29. Miss Information Votaire
In this episode I ask the question how do we respond to this frightening wave of transphobia mania? Many of the people who most passionately oppose our transgender community do so out of ignorance. I…
28. Uncle Kerfuffle's Trans Safari, Part Two
This is the second half of a conversation with Uncle Kerfuffle. Uncle Kerfuffle is a good friend who, at the age of 13, was the first in his community and school to come out as trans.
We discuss his j…
27. Uncle Kerfuffle's Trans Safari, Part One
I have a conversation with Uncle Kerfuffle in this episode. Uncle Kerfuffle is a good friend who, at the age of 13, was the first in his community and school to come out as trans.
We discuss his journ…
26. Bring Love Back
When I realized Trump had won the election I hugged my boyfriend and told him I was sorry. It felt like I had let him down. “What do we do now?" I asked.
He answered, "Even in the depths of hatred we …
25. Meds for 'Mo's
In this episode I recall lobbying the US Congress and the Utah State Legislature to pay for HIV meds.
Mormon homosexuals on the downlow and the tragically large population of LGBTQ+ kids living on U…
24. Mormon Meth-Head Moms, Part Two
If I was going to be successful as a liberal lobbyist in America's most conservative state asking Mormons for money to save the lives of a bunch of people with AIDS. I needed to do a serious anthropo…
23. Mormon Meth-Head Moms, Part One
Returning to live in Utah in my 40s was, well differnt. Trying to be true to myself in the ultra-conformist, freakishly bizarre pseudo reality of Utah was as challenging as it was lonely.
I began wo…
Terrifying Future Past
HE IS TALKING ABOUT YOU
Trump says he will use the military and get rough with Americans who disagree with him. What will it take to get your attention? What will it take for you to understand he is…
22. Utahpian Soviet Zionist Republic, USZR
In this episode I compare Mormonism to Communism and it's the most fun I've ever had writing. I explain everything you always wanted to know about Mormonism, including a few secrets the Mormons would…
21. Mir (Peace)
Once I finally escaped Utah my life just blossomed. For the next 20 years one amazing opportunity after another just fell in my lap.
I was a double agent spying on the KGB for the Americans in Munic…
20. Don't Let Them Burn It All Down
We, the majority of decent Americans, must stand together as one once again. We are literally on the cusp of losing everything old LGBTQ+ activists like me worked our entire lives to create for you, …
19. The Heathens on the Lake
In this episode I recall how my family earned the nickname "The Heathens on the Lake." We were the only no practicing Mormons on Salem Lake in Utah Valley, the sanctimonious sanctum sanctorum of Morm…
18. I Prefer Sis With an S
In this episode I remember my painful and at times rather humorous psychological journey surviving child abuse. I started life as a happy and very flamboyant little boy who enjoyed playing dress up w…
17. Sisyphus In Stilettos
In this episode I recall the memorable and exceedingly enjoyable months I shared an apartment with the splendid, the singularly spectacular legendary superstar Candis Cayne. The Princess Diana of dra…