My cat really is an utter dick

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In which my cat is an utter dick; I reminisce over McDonalds parties in the 1980s and we go on a Grand Day Out; my tumble dryer is also a dick; my oldest friend brings out a book and it is just WONDERFUL; I go on a walk and sound like a sex pest; Beth plans a funeral; Jamie has a terrifying midnight encounter; and I explain why you might want to avoid our toilets if you're planning on visiting any time soon.