In which I share my thoughts, musings and experiences of the deeply flawed engineering feat which is childbirth. Including all the reasons why giving birth is not as similar to sitting my GCSEs as I thought it might be; why your hospital bag probably shouldn't look as though you've just packed to go on a two week long haul holiday; and I discuss the correct etiquette for making polite conversation whilst a total stranger's fist is rammed up your foof. They never mention that in DeBretts.