39: Beard

In this episode, Matt, Steve, and Jessica will chat about when it is the right time for someone to introduce whomever they’re dating to their kids, especially when they’re in a co-parenting/blended family arrangement. Jessica feels that the way to handle that is very personal and depends on the unique situation one is in. In her own experience, when she dated someone she would sometimes introduce him to Penny right away, but the one thing that she applied with every one of them including Matt (even after they were married), was that she was very cautious to never leave Penny alone with any of them. She echoes the importance of someone communicating with their co-parent about the people they’re dating if only to maintain a fair level of mutual respect.

For Matt, when he would introduce someone to his kids would be determined by whether or not they had kids because he felt that someone who had kids would better understand what it was like to be a parent. The kind of relationship one has with whomever they’re dating is also critical because for example, Matt, Steve, and Jessica knew each other from church long before Matt and Jessica started dating, and so when they started dating it was easier for Jessica and Penny to trust him. 

Steve on the other hand believes in introducing someone to Penny to gauge whether they will have any sort of chemistry before he decides to take get more serious with that person. The last relationship he was in was very serious, and they were practically living together, but when they broke up, the guy totally disappeared and Steve could see that Penny had a difficult time processing that. That made him incredibly cautious about ever getting serious with anyone else. 

They all agree that one should be open with their kids about the people they’re interested in or dating, have a discussion with their co-parent about it, and generally talk to their kids about hard conversations so the kids can know that they can trust them to be honest with them. If you’re a co-parent or dating someone who is a co-parent with someone else, then this is going to be a very interesting, impactful, and resourceful conversation to listen to. Don’t miss out. 

Highlights of the discussion: 

• Steve’s love for travel and taking advantage of every trip (03:22)
• A woman that a gay man uses to mask his gayness (04:34)
• It's totally personal and kind of depends on the situation (07:19)
• Thinking about it from the child’s point of view (13:31)
• The awkward situation of saying goodbye to an ex’s kids when you break up (18:28)
• Letting the other parent know what's going on in the children's lives (23:12)
• The first time Penny saw Steve kiss another man and how he handled the situation (25:17)
• The importance of overly communicating things when raising a child together (31:48)
• Making sure that your kids can come to you with anything (35:30)
• The advantages and disadvantages of dating someone who has kids (41:16)
• An open communication with your ex creates a more open communication with your kids (42:37)

Additional Resources:

• www.Linktr.ee/TheBoldLogic

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