Dr. David Buss: How Humans Select & Keep Romantic Partners in Short & Long Term

In this episode, my guest is Dr. David Buss, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology at the University of Texas, Austin, and one of the founding members of the field of evolutionary psychology.
Dr. Buss describes his work on how people select mates for short and long-term relationships, the dynamics of human courtship, and mate value assessment — meaning how people measure up as potential partners. We also discuss the causes of infidelity and differences for infidelity in men and women. He explains how people evaluate and try to alter other people’s mate value as a means to secure and even poach mates. We discuss monogamous and non-monogamous relationships in humans. And we discuss what Dr. Buss calls “the dark triad” — features common in stalkers and narcissists that relate to sexual and psychological violence in relationships.
This episode is sure to be of interest to anyone single or in a relationship who seeks to know how people select mates and anyone who is interested in forming and maintaining healthy romantic partnerships. 
Read the full show notes for this episode at hubermanlab.com.
Thank you to our sponsors
AG1: https://athleticgreens.com/huberman
LMNT: https://drinklmnt.com/hubermanlab
Waking Up: https://wakingup.com/huberman
Momentous: https://livemomentous.com/huberman
Timestamps
00:00:00 Introducing Dr. David Buss  
00:04:27 Sponsors: AG1, LMNT & Waking Up
00:08:33 Choosing a Mate  
00:13:40 Long Term Mates: Universal Desires  
00:18:31 What Women & Men Seek in Long-Term Mates  
00:25:10 Age Differences & Mating History  
00:32:20 Deception in Courtship  
00:37:30 Emotional Stability  
00:38:40 Lying About Long-Term Interest  
00:41:56 Short-Term Mating Criteria, Sliding Standards & Context Effects  
00:46:25 Sexual Infidelity: Variety Seeking & (Un)happiness & Mate Switching  
00:54:25 Genetic Cuckolds, How Ovulation Impacts Mate Preference  
00:57:00 Long-Term vs. Short-Term Cheating, Concealment  
00:59:15 Emotional & Financial Infidelity  
01:04:35 Contraception  
01:06:22 Status & Mating Success  
01:10:10 Jealousy, Mate Value Discrepancies, Vigilance, Violence  
01:24:13 Specificity of Intimate Partner Violence  
01:25:12 Mate Retention Tactics: Denigration, Guilt, Etc.  
01:27:33 Narcissism, Machiavellianism, Psychopathy  
01:33:25 Stalking  
01:39:15 Influence of Children on Mate Value Assessments  
01:43:24 Attachment Styles, Mate Choice & Infidelity  
01:46:40 Non-Monogamy, Unconventional Relationships  
01:54:00 Mate Value Self Evaluation, Anxiety About the Truth  
02:02:12 Self Deception  
02:05:35 The Future of Evolutionary Psychology & Neuroscience  
02:06:56 Books: When Men Behave Badly, The Evolution of Desire, Textbooks  
02:10:42 Concluding Statements, Zero-Cost Support: Subscribe, Sponsors, Supplements  
Disclaimer
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices