Why Parents of LGBTQ+ Kids Need Their Own “Coming In” Process, with Matt Seelos
- Author
- Brenda Zane, Matt Seelos
- Published
- Thu 09 Nov 2023
- Episode Link
- http://brendazane.com/hopestream/192
ABOUT THE EPISODE:
The experience of coming out as an LGBTQ+ youth varies wildly across the country and world. In some families and communities, it’s celebrated. In others, condemned. But my guest on this episode of Hopestream says that we often forget about the “coming in” process needed for parents and families of those youth.
Matt Seelos has worked in the mental health field for 20 years. He’s currently a primary therapist at Elevations Residential Treatment Center in Utah, where he administers an alphabet soup of therapeutic practices – EMDR, DBT, CBT, and ACT among others. In addition to all of this work, Matt goes out of his way to practice compassionate therapy specifically geared toward the needs of LGBTQ+ youth.
But he also understands that the coming out process for kids requires an acceptance process for parents. He points out that while a young person has usually been internally processing the reality of their identity for months or years, parents can often feel it’s being sprung on them suddenly. Part of Matt’s job is helping parents come to terms with the loss of expectations and even grief that may accompany the coming out of their kids.
In this conversation, we cover:
- a quick primer on identity and pronouns
- how the stresses of LGBTQ+ identity in some communities can contribute to mental health and substance use issues
- how the “coming in” process works
- how the “floating back” method helps kids process their feelings of not belonging
- the importance of curiosity over judgment
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