The Influence Paradox: How Giving Up Control Can Give You Sway, with Dr. Emily Kline

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
You’ve probably heard me (and many of my guests) talk about letting go of the idea that you can control your teen or young adult child.  This is so hard to do, for obvious reasons, and parents who struggle with this have some valid questions: 

Isn’t it our job to protect our kids at all costs? If I stop confronting these problems, isn’t that just avoidance? How is this different from just giving up?

My guest today says that these questions miss an important paradox: The more we let go of controlling behavior (which often doesn’t work anyway), the more opportunity we have to gain real influence – especially with skills like Motivational Interviewing.

Dr. Emily Kline received her Ph.D. from the University of Maryland, following up with clinical and post-doc training at Harvard Medical School.  She has presented to audiences all over the world on the topics of mental health and interpersonal communication. Her new book and (free!) E-course is titled The School of Hard Talks.

I’ve been seeing Emily’s name everywhere lately and I’m excited to finally bring you this conversation, in which we discuss:

• How Motivational Interviewing can help us give up control in exchange for influence
• One big reason adolescents and young adults can be self-destructive
• Some go-to phrases to facilitate low-conflict discussion and relationship building

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• School of Hard Talks online e-course

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