Strengthen Your Marriage Challenge & Geeking-out on Romantic Love

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This episode has two parts: 
1) Shane introduces the strengthen your marriage challenge, an assessment tool for evaluating 6 areas of intimacy, and numerous suggested activities for intimacy building.  A 12-month tracking system is provided for you to set goals & evaluate your progress.  Download the 5-page PDF of the Strengthen Your Marriage Challenge at https://cmfcdallas.com/

2) Shane geeks-out by sharing two of his favorite theories on adult love: Attachment Theory and Differentiation Theory.  He gives examples of these theories from his counseling practice and some take-away ideas that each theory can offer you and your marriage.   

Common habits that hurt marriage :

• Needing to be right
• Controlling your partner
• Unbridled self-expression
• Punishment (revenge)
• Withdrawal (silent treatment)
• Blaming & neglecting to see your part of the relationship issue
• Defensiveness
• Resentment

6 Habits that develop mature love in marriage:

1. Self confront--pathway toward honesty and change
2. Calming down--an angry or reactive mind is not helpful.  When you calm down, you can get clarity & wisdom
3. Be open to feedback.  Ask for what you need using respectful language.  "I would appreciate it if you do more... or less of....."
4. Pursuers in the relationship need to soften their intensity
5. Withdrawers need to avoid isolating and stay in important conversations
6. Work toward building a soft place to land in marriage

References:  "New Rules of Marriage” Terry Real
Strengthen your Marriage Online course, Jennifer Finlayson Fife  

If you would like a 5-7 min quick assessment of your attachment to both parents and your spouse, click the link.

 Try this if you want to take the ACES child assessment tool of adverse childhood experiences.