Crypto bros drain Kuwait’s grid; Celsius founder lands 12 years; Apple ethics on trial; DoorDash devours Deliveroo; Google gives Gemini to tweens; Tesla’s “Robotaxi” is too basic; Grok goes streaking; AI ghosts your grandma; dating app leaks like it’s 2003; Squid Game returns; Theron duels Thurman; Netflix pretends to help; Disney sells sassless bots; and Bittner exposes KISS’s lipsync sin, all in your weekly dose of dystopia and digital dumpster fires.