The News

Humanity has a natural inclination toward gossip. It’s an instinctive need that we’re constantly up to date on what’s happening. Who is getting married? Who is fighting? What sensationalist embarrassment is the king going through? And in the modern age, we have the technology to beam gossip directly into our eyes from anywhere in the world, heck, even out of the world when checking in on the International Space Station’s dehydrated food options. But when the information is expected at every moment, do we then need to sensationalize the mediocre? If there is no News, do the talking heads broadcast silence? Or are we forcing ourselves into oversaturation of nonsensical hyperbole? Stay tuned for Breaking Coverage with Mat and Veronique as we spin the facts into a steaming, heaping pile of cyclical rhetoric that we’re spewing out as The News!







*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.







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