I am growNman 126 Mastering Marriage: Lessons From 17 Years

Who actually qualifies to give relationship advice? Drawing from nearly 17 years of marriage, I tackle this question head-on, challenging the common practice of taking relationship guidance from people with little successful experience. Real wisdom comes from those who've weathered the storms and emerged stronger.

My journey from immaturity to becoming the husband my wife deserves wasn't straightforward. Growing up in a broken home with no model for healthy relationships, I had to learn what makes a house a home. Initially resisting my wife's efforts to create a warm, inviting space, I eventually recognized the importance of these seemingly small touches in building our life together. Our relationship evolved from a simplistic notion of gender roles into a dynamic partnership where responsibilities shift according to needs – sometimes 90-10, other times 10-90.

The hard truth I've learned is that men must take full accountability for relationship struggles. Either you've chosen an incompatible partner or you don't understand what's needed for success. This perspective isn't about blame but empowerment – recognizing that growth is always possible. For years, I defended poor communication with "this is just who I am," until I realized I could and should improve for my wife's sake. That transformation required intention, research, and a willingness to be uncomfortable.

Want relationship success? Start asking deeper questions early. Move beyond superficial attractions to understand family dynamics, past relationships, and expectations. These foundations determine how you'll navigate challenges together. And remember that maturity is non-negotiable – without emotional intelligence, even promising partnerships will falter. Sex, despite its cultural emphasis, proves far less important than mutual respect, communication, and commitment to growth. If you're seeking lasting love, focus on becoming someone capable of sustaining it.