COVID Is for Quarrelers: What to Do When the Kids Won't Stop Fighting #047

The COVID quarantine / shelter-in-place / shutdown / social distancing (whatever we call it these days) is taking its toll on our kids and there is some real expert-level quarreling going on in our house. If you can relate, you are definitely not alone.

When fighting and strife crop up, we have to fight the inclination to shut it all down as quickly as possible. Our initial proclivity may be to minimize the conflict and end the screaming, bickering, and/or name calling. However, our children need to work through this conflict in order to grow. We have an opportunity, if we choose to take it, to coach our children to develop the skills of overcoming wrongs (especially minor ones) from others, having empathy for siblings, and finding win-win solutions in relational conflicts.

It's not easy, but it is worth it. Remember, mothers and fathers, that you have the power to positively impact your kids.

A few practical ideas:

• Teach our daughters and sons that they are strong enough to handle when things aren't fair and people (even those who love us, like our siblings) aren't always nice to us.
• Help them understanding what they really feel and what they really want when they are in the middle of conflict.
• Give them projects that require them to work together on the same team.
• Teach them how to take some space on their own when they can't get along with their sibling(s).
• Have one-on-one time with your kids to ensure they feel connected with you and feel belonging in your family.
• Do fun things altogether as a family. We recently did a "family sleepover."

During the Stat of the Week, David goes on a misguided rant about Tom Hanks' career even as we are in awe about how much money his movies have made (via Forbes).


Thank you for listening! We hope you enjoyed this episode. If so, please share the podcast with a friend who might need some friends on the parenting journey or who could just use a good laugh.

Also, if you are struggling with your kids' expectations of you as their entertainment, check out a past episode on how we are working hard to not to be our kids' cruise director.