Quick Conversation with Vilar: Finding Home After Loss

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Justin shares his powerful journey of being adopted from Tijuana, Mexico to two white lesbian parents in rural Wisconsin and how he navigated identity, loss, and finding his authentic self. From dealing with the passing of his beloved grandparents to meeting his birth mother in a full-circle moment, his story reveals how breaking free from limiting environments leads to personal healing.

• Growing up as a Mexican adoptee in a conservative white community created a constant feeling of being unsafe outside his home
• Losing his grandparents during college sent him down a dark path before he found healthier ways to process grief
• College provided his first opportunity to remove the "mask" he'd worn and connect with diverse people who accepted him fully
• Meeting his birth mother at 21 in the same hotel where he was adopted created a profound healing experience
• Reconnecting with childhood joys like soccer helped him honor his grandparents' memory rather than staying stuck in grief
• Learning to stop chasing love and instead attract authentic relationships by staying true to himself
• Finding healing through embracing "safe discomfort" and honoring his inner child's happiness

If you're struggling with loss or identity, remember that who you were is different from who you are, which is different from who you will be. Stay cute, stay loud and keep dancing, even when everyone's watching.

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